Stuck :(

My weight seems to be stuck at 189.5 that makes me so sad. I'm thinking I'm not eating enough therefore my metabolism is not working, and by not eating enough I'm going to fat stores in my body, so I'm not buring any calories :( Bummer, I've been trying to eat every few hours, and good things, but I'm thinking I need to add my calorie intake. That's the plan for this week anyway...I hope it works. Because it's making me more depressed. 

Pound a week

That's the average amount I lose. I can't stand not being able to loose more than that. Today the scale read 193. The right direction/ I just wish it moved faster.

today

The scale said 194.5. Well accutally when it wasn't level it said ten pounds lighter. I can only wish... I've been drinking protein shakes 2 times a day this past week. Well on most days. But I haven't eaten more than one meal a day, just snacks. If I could just give up ice cream that would help...It actually tasted bad twice in the past week, but still hasn't stopped me from eating it...

Writing it down

I've started writing down what I'm eating all day, when I did this a few yeas ago it made me think about what I put in my mouth before I did it. I hope it helps. My scale makes me crazy. I think I've only lost 5 pounds, but I thought it was more last week, but the scale must have been tipped to read 191, or something. Bummer. I have no patience.

Down 4 pounds

The scale this morning said 194.5 this makes me happy. I do not want to be over 200 pounds again. I need to come up with a different snack option for bedtime. Peanut butter M n' M's are not a great choice especially since I probably had ice cream as my treat after dinner. I've cut down how much ice cream, so that's better. The last few days I've had a whey protein shake for breakfast and lunch. We have no good cereal! I know I will get burned out drinking the shakes for 2 meals a day, sometimes you just have to chew and crunch!

Trying this again

My weight is high, not at my all time high. But way to much. 198. I have started drinking a whey protein shake for lunch every day. Let's hope that helps, weight loss. I need to lose weight to be healthier, at this point. Meals have been a small bowl of cereal for breakfast, whey shake for lunch, healthy dinner with ice cream for dessert cause I can't give that upp, I'm trying to make the bowl smaller, but my love of ice cream it's hard to give up completely.

Stressed

What's the point of eating healthy and working out? Really, what is the point? I take ten billions of medicines a day and still my body fails. What is wrong with my heart? Am I going to live to see my daughters graduate high school? Watch my children marry? Be a grandmother? I'm really stressed out right now. One simple procedure to shock my heart into normal rhythm doesn't even work. Because my blood it too thick. But I still got to have an IV  started. 3 jabs later. And I got to swallow this disgusting think liquid to numb my throat, and wake up only to learn they didn't shock me. Now I have to call every day to see if the doctor has a cancellation that I can take to find out what they can do now. I just tried to eat and chocked on the fries, now my throat hurts a lot. and I've lost my hunger.   How did my heart go into abnormal rhythms to begin with???