So, mu heart is telling me. But my mind? Has a much harder time believing it. Especially when I am feeling so awful. Not flu, cold, or allergies, although a doctor yesterday said it could be allergies or asthma. I did think he was a quack. But I did go through with having a chest x-ray, probably for no reason. The 2 ways I can describe how I'm feeling are like when I took too many ibuprofen and landed in the hospital 6 1/2 years ago, needing blood, and when I was dehydrated after the hernia surgery a few summers ago. Both of those times I felt like I was dying. Why does it seem like when it's Summer I am the sickest too?
My whole body aches, especially my legs, like I've worked out really hard, and have nothing left to give. I haven't even been to the gym for the past week. Just the thought of dragging myself and gym bag inside to the locker room is a very exhausting thought. I'm having a very had time with shortness of breath, Just walking from the living room to the bathroom I breathing hard. It has been 10 long days so far.
I saw my cardiologist yesterday. I just saw him in March and the EKG and Echo I had done then were fine. (OK fine for me). The EKG yesterday showed some weird readings. He said I had fluid in my heart. He put me on a new stronger water pill, increased my potassium, and added another heart drug. I have to wear a heart monitor for 48 hours, which will be like a continuous EKG. That starts on Friday. Then I'll see the doctor on the 11th. OK, fine. But when will I start to feel better? This is totally no fun for me or my family. Not that they really understand how I'm really feeling. Doing much of anything is so very awful. I did manage to cook a few pieces of chicken and chop up some lettuce tonight for dinner. The first time in a week, I think I've cooked anything. I just don't want to move off the couch or bed. It's just so awful not being able to take a full breath.
I have to keep saying... God is in Control.
Why does it have to be so darn hard????
It's so awful being/feeling sick all.the.time. I am so frustrated by it. I'm sure my family and everyone I know are tired of me always complaining about not feeling good. I know I am! Right now my biggest requests would to be able to breath normally and have energy.
God please be in control of my health and body. You know my heart and my desires to be well and live a long life. Please let that be your plan as well. And soon.
